I ran into a young gentlemen recently who enthusiastically told me that he would be graduating high school. I shared in his excitement. I followed up with a common question that many would ask of a graduating high school senior: "so what's next?" Well, that question quickly deflated the sense of pride that he felt just moments earlier. His bright smile that accompanied his exciting news turned into an indifferent expression as he told me: "Just working". My heart sank as he said that- not because he had chosen (or not) to work after graduating. From the tone of his voice, he either was not happy with his trajectory or thought I wouldn't be. Perhaps he believed that his post high school endeavors were not impressive enough. Whatever it was, I surmise that it had something to do with how we traditionally define success.
This interaction caused me to think of how I convey the notion of success to my children. Do I have the ultimate definition of success? Absolutely not, but I do know that my children need to have a notion of what success means. I want to convey to them that success is incremental. We will never achieve all that we want in one fell swoop. Sometimes we have to take a step back to take a step forward. Many times steps towards our end goal requires a slow steady pace. There will be times when success cannot be defined by what others determine as success- for to do so may require us to conform and ultimately forego our own happiness. Success is defined by our abilities and how they allow us to progress. Because we all have varying abilities, and progress at different rates, we can never judge success by measuring our progress against another person. Ultimately, we are the only ones who can truly define our success.
If I could have that conversation over with that young man. I would have encouraged him to allow the smile to return to his face and the enthusiasm back in his tone. Why? Because he successfully completed high school and was about to embark upon adding a new chapter of success, defined by the only person who can really determine his level of success: himself.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
First, I enjoyed reading this and your previous blogs. Second, we tend to judge people by our measuring stick, falling short of that, through our lens others did not meet the goal.
ReplyDeleteYour blog was a paradigm shift that success is measured by each individual and what works for them, not us. We must applaude what success represents to the individual.
T. Scott
You've done it again - another wonderful article!
ReplyDeleteMy husband and I recently attended a business / entrepreneurship breakfast at a local church. One of the presenters asked the very question that you posed and asked the crowd for their opinions. Needless to say the answers varied quite a bit and the presenter gave his version of success. It was not, however, as eloquently and truthfully stated as yours. He quantified success as money driven. (The presenter was seen as an expert in the business world, not the faith world, so his opinions were a bit skewed. As Believers, we know that it is God who defines success.)
Your blog is based on a personal goal driven journey, instead of a peer-to-peer comparative money driven destination.
Thank you for taking the time to share this. You encouraged my spirit in so many ways athe just he right moment. Again, thank you.